Share Your Story Anonymously

8/11/2021

Share your story and anonymously.
We have opened up this platform in order for you to share your story anonymously. You can share your story as part of our #16DaysOfActivism or to merely share your story anonymously for guidance and advice which will be replied to.

How this works:
1. Below the text, you will see a comment button.
2. Select the comment button and share your story within the comment button.
3. The page will ask you for an email account in order for the comment to be shared on our page, use email address: info@riseagainstdomesticviolence.co.za
4. The page will ask you for your name, use Anonymous.
5. After this your story will be sent to our email address anonymously without any of your information being shared.
6. We will authorise the share and it will appear on this page.

9 Comments

Anonymous

8/11/2021 06:38:09 am

Thank you for opening this up to help others share and seek help anonymously.

Zen Williams

8/11/2021 06:43:30 am

You are very welcome. You are safe here. No one will know you are sharing as it is anonymous to both the public and ourselves. Much love!

joan Panter

25/11/2021 09:18:10 am

i have been in a marriage for 5 years, the first year was fine, then it started changing, he became verbally very abusive almost as though it was in cycles, he would without warning change from friendly to aggressive telling me repeatedly to f off and then not talk to me for days, then it would change back to happy happy, it has got worse, with him telling me am a slut, I am lazy, I am filthy house wife, he tolled me e that he wishes I would get raped then I would know what it is all about, he accused me off overspending our money, then he kept on asking for bank statement of the little we had, and eventually I became angry and told him to take over the shopping, that is when he told me that if I dont back off he would hit me so hard I would not wake up for a few days, then i asked him if he wanted me to leave and he said yes go just go, I packed and put my stuff into the back of my old landy, but could not leave as he had removed the battery, he told me I could walk, I had to walk up a road that was extreamely busy to get to my son, the next day the police assisted me in removing my property from my vehicle, he said that someone had come onto the property at night and removed the battrey he had replaced, this was strange as I had locked the vehicle and there was no forced entry, also the wheel nuts had been removed I had no other alernative but to move to my daughter in Alberton, now he has phoned to tell me that if I am not coming back I must remove my vehicle and goods otherwise he will dispose of everything,, this is just a brief breakdown of the five years, He is turning 74 and I am 71, I dont know how to go back to white river to take my stuff or divorce him as financially I am severely limited, and my children have done so much for me but they too dont have the finances, divorces is so expensive, I would really appreciate any advice he also has a small revolver that is not licenced and has on one or two occasions said he could eaesly shoot me, thank you for allowing me to share with you

Zen

30/11/2021 09:26:49 pm

Thank you for sharing ♥️

Zenda-Lee

19/12/2021 08:35:57 am

Please could you reach us via WhatsApp so we are able to guide you correctly. I have some information for you that can help you. WhatsApp 081 589 4308. I am sorry you are going through such a terrible time.

Anonymous

10/12/2021 10:05:27 pm

I feel like I'm about to be a victim of gender based violence. I have a 3 months old son and I'm still in a relationship with my baby daddy but I desperately need to leave this relationship. I started seeing the red flags when I was pregnant.....he was so insecure and would accuse me of cheating on him. I never paid attention to any of that until one day I was at my grandmother's house for a some traditional ritual. So that day he called and asked to see me and when I told her I wasn't at home he got angry and demanded directions to my grandmother's house. I refused to do that but when we meet on the next day he demanded that I should take him there. Another incident occurred when I told him I got a job and he said I shouldn't worry about work when I'm heavily pregnant and he will provide everything for me but he was failing to do that I was already financing the relationship alone so I didn't agree to them he then got angry and said i can go to work but i shouldn't talk to guys and he doesn't want me to use public transportation so he will transport me to work. This was shocking considering the fact he was always busy and I was constantly begging for his time but now he magically has time to transport me. Due to medical complications I couldn't take the job......so two days back he came around and found me wearing makeup and made a comment about me cheating but I took it lightly. Later that night he was angry because I saved his contacts as "baby daddy" and demanded that I change it to "love" . Yesterday he was confronting me about the guys I'm chatting with and confessed to hacking my phone. Today he managed to delete all my contacts I don't know how he did because I haven't spent time with him for some time. His behavior is scary and I know he has a gun. How do I leave this relationship unharmed......I don't want to die. Please help

Zenda-Lee

19/12/2021 08:35:02 am

Dear Anonymous, Please could you reach us via WhatsApp so we are able to guide you correctly. I have some information for you that can help you. WhatsApp 081 589 4308. I am sorry you are going through such a terrible time.

Anonymous

20/12/2021 07:59:20 pm

I am urgently needing advice and possibly help please.

I'm going to attach just some of the recent things my daughter and myself have been subjected to by my husband of 5 years. Our daughter is going to be 4 in January 2022.
For the past year Kyle my husband has been pushing me away from him and he started to sleep in a separate bedroom and we have had zero physical relationship which is worrying as I know this could be a sign that he is cheating.
I have recently seen that he has been liking a certain girls pictures on Facebook (who I do not know) which I never normally would worry about but when I asked him how he knew her he flat out lied to me and showed me that he deleted her from his Facebook but a few days later I see he has added her again.
So I sent her 2 messages asking how she knew Kyle and she read the messages but never replied and now I see she has blocked me which screams to me that something is not right.

On the 16th July 2021 after begging him for months to go to marriage counseling he agreed that we could try marriage counseling but that night he had asked for a divorce, he told me the reason he doesn't sleep in the same room as me is because he doesn't love me and he had changed his mind about going to counseling. He said he would rather look for somewhere to rent.
Then just after 10pm he asked me too unlock my bedroom door so he could get his clothes, (I had been locking the bedroom door for a while when my daughter and I went to bed as he wasn't sleeping in our room and he is extremely unpredictable and that night he was already upset so I didn't want to cause more drama for Caileigh) because he was leaving.
I said no as Caileigh was asleep next to me, so he banged and kicked the door until the handle fell off and there was a hole in the door. Caileigh also woke up crying. Then he started messaging me saying he was going to take Caileigh from me and blammed me for his behavior and for scaring our child. He also took my bedroom door keys so I couldn't lock it again. The next afternoon he apologized as he usually does.

Then on the 18th July 2021 just before 1am he randomly messaged me screenshots of a conversation I had with a girl I knew. I explained the context of it to him and by 1:20am he told me he trusted me and I thought all was good. That day this same girl sent him more messages and he started his verbal attack on me again, calling me all sorts of things such as whore, slut and cheater.
On the 20th July 2021 he came home from work and as most nights he was grumpy picking on me for the things I hadn't done during the day and ignoring everything I had done. Then at 2am when I was asleep he sent me screenshots of my comments on people's TikTok videos not realizing that I had and would never meet these I strangers. He accused me of cheating and flirting called me disgusting and said I was getting myself horny for other men and I was a rubbish.
I told him commenting on videos was not cheating especially when we had never discussed the boundaries of social media.
He then burst into my bedroom pulling the duvet off my daughter and myself, screaming at me and he grabbed my phone in the process shattered it by bending it. Bare in mind this was just after 2am in the morning. Our poor child was screaming and very scared.
He then sent me messages saying he was going to kill himself so I grabbed my daughter and ran to my dad's flat. Shortly after that he left in his bakkie.
He only came back in the morning and of course apologized again and bought our daughter a new bicycle and promised to go to counseling but 24 hours later he was back to his nasty self.
28th July 2021 after yet another day and night of the same horrible treatment Kyle insults me and in the same breath says "let's fuck quickly" to which I responded NO well of course he didn't like that so he flew off at me saying I was cheating etc and eventually slammed the spare bedroom door and I presumed he went to bed.
29th July 2021 He ignored me all day and night so I sent him this message.
From me to Kyle - What is your problem?
Why do you think it's okay to try and control me? It's not okay and I won't stand for it.
Please go to counseling like you agreed or we are not going to be able to make our marriage work.
He replied "you come to bed at 12:30 - 1am every night.
ok you have someone Els?"
He then came to me in the lounge saying why do I want a divorce etc. Can a human be so blind to what they do to a person.?
30th July 2021 He actually hit me this day.

That is just a shortened version of things that happened recently. I am now actually scared of him as he is unpredictable and I fear that he will kill me in my sleep
From the 30th July to the 1st of August I had the man I married back he even agreed to buy me my German shepherd puppy which I organized then on the evening of Monday the 2nd August he changed back to being ugly saying I must answer him yes. Boss no boss and he told me he was not going to g

Monique

28/1/2022 01:27:21 pm

I am in denial....I ve read about emotional abuse and although I know that this is not healthy I keep on asking how bad can it really get???? And then at the same time...I really do fear for my life.... Can someone please tell me if this is really something to consider as dangerous or am I just losing my mind...
I met Mr G and it was great at first but soon the red flags went up he wanted to be in a relationship immediately and was such a smooth talker that it actually felt so good . Soon in the relationship I saw that he had a very bad temper and was very jealous. He never gets along with my children and they do not approve of him at all. I have declined the offer to move in with him and this I must hear everyday of how I do not put him first he has threatened me and my sister once telling me how badly he will hurt us both then what a fool I am in taking him back thinking that everything will get better. The company I worked for is now sold I am without a job my car that he promised to sort out is still at the mechanics for the past 4 months he said I must move into a new house which I did and he will pay for the rent Ive moved in a month ago and was just told by him I must take my stuff and see to it that I'm out by Monday...where do I go??? He said he will be back later and then I will see what he can really do . 3 of his previous girlfriends have protection orders against him.. I am so scared and really fear for my life, luckily my daughters are not here...
if only I new what to do