To think while the abuse and the online exploitation and public exposure what actually happing, it was difficult for me to understand why this man and others have done to me what they have done. I think it is a question in all our minds. I was good to him and I was exceptionally kind, compassionate and loving towards others, it is in my nature. You probably feel the same way.
The common famous quote which I think irritates all of us is "Everything happens for a reason." At the time of me going through the trauma of what he did to me and coping with what was happening, I certainly did not under any circumstances want to hear "everything happens for a reason."
I want to tell you, that after dealing with some of the horrific events that took place, understanding and accepting that I was never going to get an apology or find closure regarding why they did what they did, and acknowledging that although the events took place in my life, it happened for a reason, because it did.
My biggest downfall in life was my innocence - the not knowing what was out there. I do not blame this on my upbringing. My parents and siblings when I was much younger did not tell me about how deceptive, manipulative and destructive people can actually be and they do it without any regard to the devastating implications it has on another's life. I had to learn this on my own, and that is ok. It really is.
Because of my innocence, some call me naïve, I missed massive character flaws in people and it cost me hugely. Lesson learnt.
Of course this could have been prevented but if it were, I would never have learnt to stand up for myself. I always had the ability to fight fiercely for the rights of others, but never myself.
Since I have learnt that it is ok to do this, that I am not a bad person by doing so, and accept that in life, some times we have to do difficult things to survive and to protect ourselves, sometimes we don't always get on with everyone, people have different opinions and it is ok that you are not for everyone, because I am not.
What I have learnt is that I can and I will fight for what is right and I will do it for myself and for anyone else without hesitation. I am here because of what happened to me, I have opened this page because of what happened to me, I am helping others because of what happened to me. I am not going to remain a victim, I will rise above my injuries and insecurities and fight.
Everything does happen for a reason. Be patient, your reason will unravel.
It doesn't however remove anything we are going through, it does not heal the pain or remove the trauma. It just means in your heart you have found a way to turn it around for the better good.
Rise Up Against Gender Based Violence - Rebekkah Williams - The Truth