Just because he did it to you, does not mean he will inflict the same behaviour on another women. (Not yet anyway)
There are probably many reasons as to why the sociopath or toxic relationship he has offered you was only directed at you, with the highest level of severity and not so much on others.
1. You are married to him and he shares children with you.
2. You have a solid family support base and he knows he will not get away with it.
3. It is still coming.
4. He knows you will not stand for it and if he did he would probably be in legal trouble.
Some women are still vulnerable, innocent and extremely forgiving, others are alone in the world with no family support base. They know these things. They are designed to sum you up in weeks and they can gauge who they can and cannot mess with. It really is an animal instinct.
So if you are confused in your relationship because the ex-girlfriend or partner is crazy (because he said so) and she has made some serious allegations and accusations towards who he is and he has not behaved this way with you, here is some insight as to why.
He is still a predator who is highly dangerous but just to someone else or others.
I would not count myself lucky, because in the end you are still dating a lunatic.
Ladies, when there is smoke there is fire. One of the biggest RED FLAGS is dating a man who claims his ex is crazy.
Know the signs.
When a man tells you as his girlfriend with whom you share no children, that he thinks your daughter is sexually appealing and he wants to bed her, I URGE you to report him to SAPS immediately.
This is not something normal people say, it is also not how stable men think. It is especially not ok to entice and bribe a young girl under the age of 18 to win her over or try to coerce her into bed by taking her out while you are with your other children and get her intoxicated to do so.
There is just nothing ok about any of it.
Your love for this man falls away immediately and your maternal instinct needs to kick in.
If you have proof of his words over text messages or evidence of it like I do, type your statements and take it to SAPS immediately.
You cannot have a sexual predator around your children.
I cannot say this enough, do not allow your sadistic partner to prey on your children.
When you have a cyberstalker and I sincerely hope you never do, the issue with this is that if they are in your device or your device is cloned you have no control.
Their aim with regards to device control is for you to lose your data and access to your drives in order for you to have no evidence for a case. Also, to snoop through your data. I know it sounds crazy, because it is. Your data can also be used against you where they place triggers with regards to conversations you are having over your phone and images and meme's are placed in google or facebook to play with your mind. A cruel game indeed.
This is what my sociopath did. It has nothing to do with the standard algorithm.
It took me a few months of experiencing much frustration and plenty of pity parties to outsmart them.
A clean SD card which you do not keep in the slot of your phone is what you need.
You keep it behind your phone in a pouch.
When you need to save data (evidence), you put your phone totally offline, into flight mode. Insert the SD card and save the data to it. Remove it and put your data back on. This way while you are trying to save the data they do not drop a trojan horse (virus) onto the SD which either blocks you from saving anything or again shares the information to the hacker. In my case, my ex boyfriend...
To think while the abuse and the online exploitation and public exposure what actually happing, it was difficult for me to understand why this man and others have done to me what they have done. I think it is a question in all our minds. I was good to him and I was exceptionally kind, compassionate and loving towards others, it is in my nature. You probably feel the same way.
The common famous quote which I think irritates all of us is "Everything happens for a reason." At the time of me going through the trauma of what he did to me and coping with what was happening, I certainly did not under any circumstances want to hear "everything happens for a reason."
I want to tell you, that after dealing with some of the horrific events that took place, understanding and accepting that I was never going to get an apology or find closure regarding why they did what they did, and acknowledging that although the events took place in my life, it happened for a reason, because it did.
My biggest downfall in life was my innocence - the not knowing what was out there. I do not blame this on my upbringing. My parents and siblings when I was much younger did not tell me about how deceptive, manipulative and destructive people can actually be and they do it without any regard to the devastating implications it has on another's life. I had to learn this on my own, and that is ok. It really is.
Because of my innocence, some call me naïve, I missed massive character flaws in people and it cost me hugely. Lesson learnt.
Of course this could have been prevented but if it were, I would never have learnt to stand up for myself. I always had the ability to fight fiercely for the rights of others, but never myself.
Since I have learnt that it is ok to do this, that I am not a bad person by doing so, and accept that in life, some times we have to do difficult things to survive and to protect ourselves, sometimes we don't always get on with everyone, people have different opinions and it is ok that you are not for everyone, because I am not.
An individual (Narcissist/Sociopath) whose true nature initially remains hidden.
The narcissistic predator much like the lone wolf is about their own survival. It is best to let them wander the fields and pillage while staying out of their crosshairs.
If you interfere with their world, they hunt you down and destroy you.
‘A wolf in sheep’s clothing’ is a phrase that dates back to the Bible. It is a cautionary tale of someone who appears harmless but is actually quite dangerous.
WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM THE FIRST TIME.
I cannot tell you enough how many times I didn't acknowledge the red flags in his behaviour. If I had, I may have been able to salvage my life in the pieces that was left.
HE IS DISRESPECTFUL, INSENSITIVE, CONTROLLING,A BULLY, USES THREATS AND INTIMIDATION, LIES, DISREGARDS YOUR FEELINGS, MINIMISES & TRIVIALISES, GIVES YOU SILENT TREATMENT, RAGES, THROWS TANTRUMS, IS NEVER ACCOUNTABLE, A HYPOCRITE, PROJECTS ON YOU, DOES NOT SHOW SYMPATHY OR REMORSE, EXPLOITS, IS ARROGANT & CONDESENDING, ACTS SUPERIOR, USES DEMANDS, COMMANDS & ORDERS, DOES NOT LISTEN, A KNOW IT ALL, HAS A CHARMING EXTERIOR PERSONALITY UNTIL ENRAGED OR THINGS DON’T GO HIS WAY.
IN SUMMARY HE IS WEAK, IMMATURE BULLIES, NEEDING CONTROL ADDED WITH A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT & A FALSE SENSE OF POWER & HE WILL DESTORY YOU IF YOU ALLOW HIM TO.
EDITED—- ORIGINAL AUTHOR UNKNOWN
This is a quote from the South African Law Reform Commission and as you can see, STALKING IS NOT RECOGNISED as a crime in South Africa. It is identified as a form of abuse. They have however included harassment in the definition of domestic violence which would accommodate acts amounting to stalking.
This makes it incredibly difficult to prove you are being watched, whether it be the offender standing close to your house or office or the offender has hacked you which is another sign of stalking.
"This recommendation endorsed the finding made in the Commission’s Research Paper on Domestic Violence that stalking is an identified form of abuse. However the Commission found that although stalking is often associated with domestic violence, it is a problem that is much broader than the domestic sphere.
So, with my case which included Cyberstalking as well as the defined word "Stalking", it took years to finally prove it.
I knew from the very beginning when I left him that I was going to have issues when he said: "You can only get rid of me with a restraining order and a stick."
I don't even think at that time I took him seriously, I mean who goes around stalking other people? The financial burden and time that goes into something like that is quite large.
I can say though that I do believe the stalking on the physical side was done by a PI he hired but those too are very costly.
So in a summary, I was probably under device control since about 2014 - that for me is still a guess. I am not in the IT field and it is not easy to identify at all.
When I started realising that I believed my device was cloned or monitored, I started setting traps, I needed to do the process of elimination to see what part of my phone he was in. Was it just Facebook, WhatsApp, emails or more?
“Revenge Porn” is Officially Illegal in South Africa
Victims may now lay criminal charges against anyone who distributes or shares this material on social media, in text messages, via any electronic communication or on pornographic websites.
I will share my story in the next few days including real evidence of what he did to me online, what he said and images proving revenge porn and absolute exposure online in my real name.