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Educate - Learn - Inspire

Let's Talk About Gaslighting In a Marriage

2/12/2020

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It’s named after a famous motion picture in which a man who wants something from a woman, pretends to be her friend, marries her, but, in fact, is her enemy. And in the process of being very kind to his victim, but in truth, in every moment he is undermining her sanity. The longer the marriage goes on , the more at stake in it in terms of children, stability, it’s central fabric.
Everything is called to question: the victims self esteem, the ability to trust themselves as far as whether they are even a good parent, a good person, or whether they can be. 
They begin to say “if I couldn’t judge this thing, which was part of my life every day for years, if I misread so many things, accepted so many lies, how can I believe I know anything at all?” 
What is not understood is that the more the lying goes on, the more brainwashing, as someone is told over and over something is not true, that it is in fact, true, the more pressure the victim is under. It comes down to a better marriage or a better divorce. 
And to achieve that, the first thing that needs to happen is the infidel has to be willing to both admit and express remorse, to say, “I have deeply hurt you and I am sorry!” Those are the necessary conditions for change. 
In their absence, you just add to the pressure cooker. Most of the time the infidel doesn’t admit to anything.
T
he divorce takes place.

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    Author

    My name is Zen Williams, I am here to share my story with you so that you can find the courage and escape the silence and abuse you are living in.
    I underwent a very traumatic few years under the actions of a sociopath/narcissist who called my family & friends and they all worked against me. His aim was to book me into a mental institution. He destroyed my life, my homes, my jobs, my income, my credit record. It got so bad that I had to move Provinces and fled Cape Town and moved to Port Elizabeth, I lost my children due to being so far away, and the distance between us is extremely hard on them.
    ​He hacked my phones, knowing all the data and used it against me to play with my mind and my life. He also took all my data and published it online which included nudity under my real name. 
    I want to encourage anyone who is facing physical abuse, emotional or mental abuse, narcissistic abuse to come forward. There are channels that can help you, you can do this. 
    You have the right to live a peaceful life. You have the right to feel safe. You have the right to privacy. You have the right to open a case against your abuser and seek justice. You are not alone. You can do this. 

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